Love bites

20121116-211016.jpgLove bites…..

……And On Saturday September 12th 2009 at 8.25am love bit me very hard and I fell head over heels.Not a slow burning kind of letsseehowwefeelaboutitinafewweeks kind of love but a BAM rightinyourfaceloveatfirstsight kind of love. The kind of love that you only expect to have once in your life and the kind of love that changes everything from your life’s expectations to your everyday mood. This love was to change my direction,my job,my home and in many ways myself. The kind of love that means that you’ll give up anything and everything to keep,grow and nurture.The kind of love that takes over your life. I had pictures of this person on my phone and I would make these images the last thing I saw every night before falling asleep and the first thing I saw every morning when I woke up after my eyes could focus on them. Before I fell asleep every night i’d text her to tell her that I loved her and I’d text “morning gorgeous”to her before I’d even got out of bed in the morning. Quite honestly every waking thought I’d have would involve her.Before anything had happened I’d planned my life with her and decided she was the one for me. Cupid shot his arrow and scored a direct hit and it turned out she felt the same and when in later months we discussed it together we both said that we’d never chose or planned it, we didn’t seek it out and we had never anticipated it happening.But after 68 days of thinking about nothing else I kissed her.

Following that first kiss many others followed but for many reasons these had to be during stolen moments as it was difficult for us to be seen together as the rather backward looking company we worked for at the time frowned upon relationships at work so any moments we could get together had to be away from anyone else we might know who might inadvertently let the secret out but. But as time went on rumours began to circulate and eventually a Facebook status appeared from a colleague which effectively outed us and caused a great deal of embarrassment particularly given the language that was used and all of a sudden we were both being forced to answer difficult questions by our friends but we had to deny everything. But worse was to follow. In late January 2010 I was summoned to an official meeting with my regional director and sales manager and was informed that we had effectively been followed one night to a pub where we were seen together and I was forced to admit that we were an item. The director then went on to tell me that this had come to the attention of head office and that the chief executive himself was concerned that this was causing “Embarrassment”and I was told that that I was to ” think carefully” about what to do next and to personally inform him of my decision.

Well I didn’t inform him of my decision and the reason I didn’t was that I didn’t feel I had to and also that at the same time as all of this was going on my mums health was getting worse and worse and having to answer to this man about something so personal was not a priority for me. Then on 10th of March 2010, 7 days prior to my mums death, while I was clearly at a low point I was called to a meeting without any warning or notification and told that my position was to be made redundant, and to allow me the maximum time to find a new job I was to go there and then. 10 years I had worked there. A quarter of my life. No time to pack a box of stuff, say goodbye or even eat the lunch I had just got.That was it, over. So what was it that caused so much “embarrassment”? In most work places up and down the country people fall in love all the time so what was it about this one that was the issue? It was true that at the time I had been a departmental manager and she was a sales trainee, which of course was always going to raise eyebrows but the main problem was that I was 40 and she was 20. What was really cool though was despite this being an “embarrassment” to my former bosses it did at least mean that at last we were Free to ‘come out’ and finally there were no reasons that our friends couldn’t be told and without exception everyone was so extremely positive for us. As for the company (Caffyns) the remaining branches that haven’t been shut are that are still trading and unless you want a Skoda from Mark Sayers in Tunbridge Wells I wouldn’t recommend you shop there. As for Mr.Wholeman…. Who cares what your doing now you pasty faced knob.

So with three years ( to the day today) having passed since that first kiss we have reached our 3rd anniversary and are very much together and she is the love of my life. I don’t ever want to be apart from her and never plan to be. Sometimes though we get a serious amount of double takes when we’re out together and in some circumstances we do get odd looks mostly because she is stunningly beautiful…and I’m not. As we walk along almost always hand in hand guys give her the full barcode type scan to check her out then notice we are holding hands and then don’t know what to do with reactions ranging from a double or sometimes triple look followed by a look of confusion and then often I’ll find they will look over their shoulders as if in a final attempt to get some kind of rational as to what they have just witnessed. Women tend to do the same thing but are less able to hide the look of shock/ surprise/amusement.Once after checking in for a flight to paris we had decided to get a quick bite to eat before the flight. As we took our tray over to the till to pay, the assistant decided to ask us where we were going.She replied “Paris” and then in an incredibly patronising way and speaking to her as though she was talking to a child looked her straight in the eyes and said “awwwwwww is he taking you to Disneyland?”. Hotels can be a challenge too. I still find it very difficult to avoid looking very sheepish when we sign the guest card as I know that before we’ve even reached our room we are being talked about behind our backs.Next year we are planning another Paris trip in June and plan to go on the train and I’m delighted to say as she’ll be 24 when we travel the good people at Eurostar still class her as a youth meaning the fare is cheaper! Now while I think that this is Hilarious her reaction was ” Bastards”

But we laugh this off now, it’s water off the ducks back and the reason for that is that I simply don’t care what people think anymore.She is the love of my life.We’re lucky to have really great friends who either see past it or simply don’t care and instead chose to see two people in love.Our relatives are good enough to just accept it too and despite an initial uncertainty on my part I’m sure they view us just for what we are which is simply just a couple in love who are caught up with each other and that nothing else matters other than that. The same as it should be for couples everywhere. When I first met her I wasn’t in a particularly good place and she has constantly proved to be a tower of strength to me and hopefully I have been able to give her at least some back in return. I wasn’t looking for love at the time and never in a million years did I ever imagine I would ever be privileged enough to have someone in my life who accepts me and embraces the things that make me who I am and hasn’t tried to change me or turn me into something that I’m not. Never did I imagine that I’d meet someone who could make me feel so happy and never did I imagine that the person who could do all those things for me could be so beautiful.Everyone should get a Cally Sims for themselves as they are amazing but you’ll have to get yourself your own one as this one is mine. All mine. And mine forever.


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